Emma Vs Ricki-Lee

Hello my friends. I retun…again.

 

I assume you mostly have watched Ren’s blog about me being sick and our bad stint of weather and getting sick again etc. BUT not excuses. It’s time to stop making them.

 

I have to admit, to my credit, I’ve not gained any weight (maybe a kg here or there), but I’m simply not being nice to my body at the moment and I’m just not finished yet. On the weekend I was horrible to myself…too much bad food, alcohol and no excercise and let me assure you I’m paying for it now.

 

This morning, after 3 days of tipping a cocktail of alcohol, sugar and carbs into my poor digestive system, I went for a walk with my Mum. (I must say, throughout the wavering stability of my routine over the last few months, my excercise hasn’t been too bad…not great, but not bad. However, I would definitely say my diet has suffered more than my training regime. Even now, I still do weights/strength training 2 to 3 times per week and cardio training once or twice.) So Mum and I head out this morning and normally I power-walk so fast Mum has to crack out a bit of a jog to keep up at times…not today. My chest hurt, my back hurt, my stomach felt like it was dragging me down I was so bloated, I had shin splints in my left leg, I got a stitch at one point (how ridiculous!!) and I just wanted it to be over…a 40minute power walk for gods sake. Pathetic I know.

 

So…what have I learnt since I last blogged:

 

Excuses are for pansy’s.

Yes, work is hard and stressful. Yes, life is busy. Yes, your personal life can get a bit shit at times…but these are not excuses to treat yourself poorly. Nor are they excuses to give up or lose sight of the end result. I have to admit I’ve been sucked into the tired vortex of whining and eating crappy food, but I’m now realising you just need to stick to a routine. A strict one. Until you get your head in the right place and you get on track, not going to sugar coat it though and pretend it’s easy as it clearly is difficult to maintain after 9 months and 15kgs.

 

What to do now…

 

No alcohol for two weeks. At a start.  Feeling hung over is the WORST feeling ever. Waking up at 9am still DRUNK is WORSE. Yes there are times when celebrations are in order and having bender is on the cards, but not every weekend. At 27 it’s not necessary either nor is my body built to cope with it anymore.

 

Healthy and smart eating is back on. Curbing your eating patterns can be difficult when you’re busy, which I am…so be prepared instead, get your routine together. Cooking more at once I find helps so I have lunch for the next day, or freezing meals for lunches/dinner when you know you might run out of time later in the week I’ve discovered is also a cracker. Also making time, just an hour, to go to the supermarket once a week…go and buy the diet yoghurt and baby spinach that always runs out first, so I’ve always got it and don’t have an excuse not to have my regular lunch/snacks etc. Now, you’ve all seen my food diary and I’ve never been on some wacky diet where you drink 8 litres of water before bed and eat a table-spoon of chick stock for breakfast…BUT staying in your routine is what has slowed down my weight loss process.

 

Staying in the routine means staying focussed and keeping your eyes on the prize.

Week 22: I know, I know, I know…it has been FOREVER!!! It’s not acceptable to have been gone this long I know…so get ready for my marathon effort.

So…CURRENT WEIGHT: 80.5kgs

CURRENT LOSS: 15.3kgs

So Easter was the last time we all caught up. I’m not going to lie, it got ugly there for a while…it was a donward spiral of slackness from Easter in. Bad head space, negative social issues, lack of respect for food and alcohol combined with my laziness. And isn’t it a vicious cycle. You feel sad so you eat, you go out to have a good night so you drink to feel more confident, then you feel shit the next day so you eat…etc and so forth. I’ve discovered I now suffer from severe alcohol depression after being so kind to my body. It is horrendeous and lasts for at least two days and is far worse than any “headache-lying-on-the-bathroom-floor” hangover. I wanted to cry because I wouldn’t find my cardigan. I almost had a melt down because I couldn’t get the popcorn I wanted at the shops and I ate so much chocolate I should’ve exploded…or ended up in a sugar coma. WORST feeling EVER.

Last Monday gave me the kick up the arse I needed, well and truly. Now I know this is hard to believe but I think I made Ren weigh me about 4 times!! as well as checking the scales with a weight. My weight last Monday 20/6/11 was…

90kgs

Yes. It. Is. True.

And obviously I LOST MY SHIT. Sorry, to get a bit personal…but it is worthy to note that it was that time of the month and fluid rentention is quite high, and you can see from my measurements that I hadn’t put on 6kgs there. All that asside though I suddenly felt so disappointed for Renai. All that hardwork she was investing in me and believing in me, all that belief I had in myself was wasted. It felt empty and horrible and letting Ren down was the LAST thing I wanted to do. So enough was enough.

Back on the food diary band wagon…I have been such a good girl 😉

So I’m back. Officially, the Comeback Kid. Last Monday was definitely what I needed to find my sparkle.


 Things seem to be running smoothly, I have to admit I was getting a few grey hairs leading up to Easter. Emma was going through a down patch, she went a week where her diet slipped and she wasn’t motivated. Emma picked herself up, found inspiration within, and came back from her Easter break to blow weigh in out of the water BAM!!!

 There are still a few minor changes I would like to make to her food diary and I am not happy with her alcohol consumption. When you are trying to lose weight alcohol is toxic! Up to 150 calories per glass of wine, Emma has around 3 – 4 on a quiet night out. That’s more calories than you should consume in a whole meal. Yes Emma is still losing weight but imagine how much weight she would lose with out those extra calories. Alcohol is prolonging her progress.

 What is the biggest change I have noticed in Emma? She is starting to develop this fighting spirit. When we first started everything was too hard, there was a negative comment that came with every sentence and she used to simply give up. Not anymore baby! The new Emma is here and here to stay! The new Emma attempts to run Mt Lofty and goes for runs after dinner. Keep going Emma! you’ve got this one in the bag

 Stay tuned for this weeks weigh in results

Look for me on Facebook …Renai La Rocca – www.infiniteefitness@live.com.au

First and foremost, Renai has new scales. These new scales (I’m obviously convinced!) are wrong. Additionally they don’t have body fat percentage.

No excuses though. Responsibility does indeed fall squarely in my lap however. 100gms. That’s it. Disappointing is an understatement. Grrrrrrrrr.

Really cutting the 3rd goal fine now…5 kgs in 4 weeks is pushing it, but do-able. I think I’ve mentioned it a couple of times, but my cousins wedding is in 4 weeks and I just want to look unreal. As I said though it’s completely achievable, my previous results PROVE that! SO what is my damn problem?!

I can’t find my sparkle. I’ve lost it. Momentarily of course, but locating its current whereabouts is difficult I’ll admit. I just want to be driven again, like in the begining with blind and unequivocal determination…when it doesn’t hurt or even have a whisper of difficulty to get out of bed at 6am. When I’m offered an alcoholic beverage or any piece of naughty food and I’m not even tempted for a second, being tempted doesn’t cross my mind. I need my bloody mojo back!!!

I have to say that’s what made it really easy to begin this. I was determined and driven. I still have all the support I had to begin with, if not more. Friends and family are being really supportive and obviously I get lots of lovely compliments which all help. It’s just not enough though if you don’t have the ‘it’ thing going on to…I know, I know…I sound like some lame psychologist but it’s true! It’s so frustrating, I just want to kill it again!! I can NOT give up, I won’t, but I just want the kick up the bum I give myself to come back…please??!!

You know, I can’t actually get up to go to the gym in the mornings unless I know Mum’s coming to get me…then I know I can’t let her down and I HAVE to get up, get dressed and go. Once I’m actually up and away, I’m fine…it’s the getting out of bed part that causes my physical pain especially when it’s dark and cold! Why can’t she do that all the time when I’m like this?! I’d like her to come and wake me up in the morning so I get up and go for run. Also, slap my hand when I got pick up a piece of naughty food or have a drinky-poo.

So if anyone’s seen my sparkle for gods sake please let me know. Either way I’m dragging my own arse out of bed tomorrow morning.

No Monday weigh-in again today…Renai is SUCH a busy bee!! I think it’s safe to say now, weigh-in’s will probablly happen on Wednesdays, so I’ll post again on Wednesday with this weeks results.

I realised today I haven’t uploaded my food diary for a a while, so here it is!

To begin, apologies for no Monday check in. Renai is super busy with her client schedule at the moment and fitting everyone in now day-light savings has finished. We trained and weighed in last night (Wed 6/4) instead…

Another 800gms down 🙂 now sitting at 85kgs exactly.

We trained at her soccer club in the dar with oval lights, so couldn’t take any pics unfortunately. Training tomorrow night at our new location and will make sure we get them in at the start so you can all see the improvement to date – I’ll print my food diary etc with the pics tomorrow.

Last night we also decided on my new “Next Goal”: 80kgs by Monday 9 May 2011. That’s 4 weeks from this Monday and obviously 5kgs. A big ask considering I’ve averages 800-900gm per week for the last 3 weigh-ins. Indeed Ren is right though, now is not the time to get complacent and enjoy the positive comments too much. Now is the time to be stepping it up and pulling the diet right back in. Tricky with Easter coming up as those of you who know me know how much I adore chocolate 😉

Whilst talking about chocolate, I have to admit that today has been my biggest downfall of so far on this adventure. As you may recall I recently started a new job and today was the first event I put on for my organisation. Admittedley it went really really well, but I was ridiculously nervous and I’ve been stressing myself out over the last week about it. Firstly this has been reflected by the state of my body: My neck and shoulders are tight (to say the least) and I’ve been really tired for the last week or so. I’ve also found myself feeling hungrier…not sure if this is psychological though!

I also strained my back (again!) this week, which hasn’t been great for the intensity of my training and cardio excercise, so I’m back to walking for a week or so till I’m feeling better…and hopefully a trip to the osteo plus a decent massage and carefull excercise will help.

A mere side bar and clearly I’m avoiding how todays slip-up, one I didn’t see coming. So I was stressed. Honestly I have admitted to a lot of reasons for eating, but I never would’ve said stress relief was one of them. Being cranky and grumpy or upset, yes…but not stressed or relieved. My event today was a morning tea that was fully catered, there was all this beautifully presented food. I felt like I was on Biggest Loser temptation. While I was organising and setting up it didn’t bother me so much: I looked at it, admired it and didn’t think too much of it. I’ve come so far, how could I be tempted now? Well once the event formalities concluded perfectly, without a hitch, I felt this huge wait left off my shoulders but it took all the other cares away too and left recklessness and zero self-control.

When I started this I promised honesty. To myself and Renai. I promised to be accountable. If I don’t tell anyone then it didn’t happen. So here it is, this is what I ate over the morning tea/lunch/afternoon tea period: mini muffins, tomato quiche in pastry, lemon tart, chicken finger sandwich on white bread. 

YUCK. To the food and now to how I feel still some 6 hours later.

No self-control, no forward planning. Biggest mistakes. I should’ve eaten before the event started so I wasn’t hungry. I should’ve let the old ladies enjoy their morning tea and left to eat my fruit and I should’ve taken my nuts with me to my meeting this afternoon. Instead I grazed on crap from 11am until 4pm.

Yes, I’m embarrassed and I do feel guilty. I feel like this has been creeping up on me and I just wasn’t ready for it to rear its ugly head in such an unexpected way.

Today has taught me a couple of things about myself: I have to be prepared, always. Admittedly, I’ve been getting more complacent with preparation as more weight comes off. Ultimately though I have to be ready for anything – eat before you go somewhere, take good food with you and drink water to fill you up. Also, food doesn’t make you feel better, fulfilled or happy. My stomach as been churning since midday. I feel lethargic and light-headed. My body hates me! Finally, there are no excuses for gorging one’s self – control paramount.

So back to work I go. I’ll probably go through sugar detox tomorrow and feel vile, so I’ll have to drink double the amount of water to clean it out…plus one can only expect a heinous arse whooping from Renai tomorrow night!


    • Laura Buick: Great work Emma. Sorry it's been ages since I had a look at this. Are you still keeing at it? With Spring coming up it's the perfect time to get into
    • Lauren: Emma! Omg... You look incredible!!! So proud. We must skype soon. Xox I had no idea this was going on!!! :)
    • SCJ: Keep going gorgeous - it happens - you are looking fabulous.

    Categories